And So Life Begins!

Greetings and salutations to all of you, I hope youre all doing well, and enjoying fall. In Southern Utah its still summer, its been between 96 and 100 degrees all week, and it looks like next week isnt going to be any cooler. IM ready for a little bit cool in my life right about now. IM ROASTING!
  Lifes been good thus far with the new family and place of residence. Its also been a hard week, as I continue to transition, and learn. Its been tough the past couple of weeks, because Ive had so much down time, and im not use to that, so ive been trying to fill the gaps between workouts with little things, even walking a friends dog a few days this week. Oh yeah, thats what i call living the dream. As I find my groove here in St. George, life is beginning to look a bit more real, which is good. I just got a job, thank the good Lord. I applied to work at Fitness Ridge, the place that changed my life, is now gonna be apart of my life forever. Well, hopefully. God is so good.  All the staff that talked to me before coming, or saw me as I first came cant believe that this is where Im ending up. They're all really excited and supportive. I just reflect back to when I first came here, and knowing that this is where I belonged, and I started praying that God would give me a job there. I applied after 3 wks of being there, and there were no open positions, and then 3 weeks before I left the Guest Services Manager asked me how Id feel about working there. Uhhh all I said is Tell me where to sign. God, really does care about even the littlest things, his way is better than I could have ever hoped for or imagined.  Thank you Jesus! Also, I found a church around here that I like, which is no easy task in Utah, if ya know what im sayin'. Life is just getting sweeter and sweeter, everyday. Im so happy. Thats all Ive got for now, on my so life. Thanks for reading. Stay strong, Stay True, Stay Beautiful.

St. George Living, oh so nice

Hello All, hope everyone had a good week, and are enjoying there Sunday off with rest and recooperation. Its been a week since I graduated, and moved on with my healthy life style. Its been easier than I anticipated, I suppose it helps though that I live with a personal trainer. Who every morning asks,"What workout are you going to do today?" Being held accountable is a good thing for me. She makes healthy meals, and doesnt have hardly any junk food in this house, again BONUS! Basically, shes an angel and so is her family. Nicole, has 4 kids, 3 girls and one outnumbered little boy. I love the rambunctionus of it all, 3 girls is a blessing to me too, I feel like im with my 3 sisters at home, with the bickering, bathroom madness, clothes sharing, and undying loyalty. Just proof that God cares so much about the little things in life, I am so blessed.
   Not to say this week hasnt had its hardships, because it has. Although, im living with a personal trainer, it was stilll an adjustment, as I had to get use to having more time on my hands, not having every minute of my day scheduled out, every meal prepped and ready with the amount of calories each thing possess. I felt a little lonely this week, away from friends that I made, and my family. It suddenly became real to me that Im really not going home. Saying goodbye to my mom and nanny, was just as hard the second time, and I wasnt anticipating that at all. Suddenly Christmas is sounding so good to me, because ill be home then, hopefully. St. George really is an incredible place to be, as I drove to church today I was once again blown away by the majesty of creation, the beauty never gets old, in fact everyday it looks different. God is magnificent. I must admit I do however miss the changing of the leaves, the cool crisp air, sweat shirt weather, and bonfires. Its a whole different kind of fall here, but beautiful none the less. I hope some of you come and visit me, this place will blow you away. Be blessed by who God made you, remember you CAN because youre worth it.

It starts with Today!

Hello again, I hope this finds everyone well and happy. Today, was the first day of the rest of my life, as it was my first day away from the ridge, I think i did pretty well too. I went with my mom, nanny, and a trainer from the ridge, Gretchen, on a 5 mile hike at Zion National Park. IT was the most spectacular hike ive ever done. Thats saying alot because since ive been here, the hikes have been what ive dreaded most because, they challenge me so, but I LOVED this one. Plus, I got to share a bit of my new life with my mom. It was such a blessing, she rocked it too, considering that it was 2.5 miles STRAIGHT up, man was she moving. We all had a great time, and were able to place a flag at the top in honor of all those who lost in 9/11 and those who served and are serving this beautiful country we live in.
  For those of you who dont know, I am staying in Utah. My Mom and Nanny(Grandma) surprised me by driving my car down here, to come to my graduation, from Fitness Ridge. I had noooo idea they were coming, and when I saw my mom sitting outside the lecture hall in the afternoon, all I could yell was "Shut Up, Shut Up!" I was sooo happy to see them. They drove 1800 miles, halfway across the country to come see me, I am so blessed. It feels so amazing to introduce them to my new life, and the new people. Tomorrow I get to show my mom and nanny my new home, and my new adopted family. Ill be living with one of the most amazing people God could have created, she is a trainer at the ridge her name is Nicole. They story of how this came about is so cool, such a God thing. My prayers were answered by her, and she is letting me stay with her, even though she has 4 kids, a dog, and a life. I am sooooo blessed. I knew this is where I belonged. God is good, and I am learning more and more about the ways He loves me. Ive never felt more loved by Him than I have since coming here, because being here has been better than I could have hoped for or imagined. Thank you Father. Nicole, thank you so much, I am excited to be apart of your family. I hope someday I can give back to you even more. So, if any of you want a cool vacation spot come to Utah, its seriously so amazing. Cant wait to continue to share my triumphs and struggles as I continue this journey. Stay tuned y'all. I love you guys.

The Constant Change of Life

Hello, happy Sunday to everyone. I hope your day is full of relaxation, restoration, and love. I just finished my 7th week here at Fitness Ridge, where does the time go? I'm telling you, time does not exist here. It seems as though I just got here, and now my time is almost done. Many of you may be wondering what I may be feeling about to head home, enter back into real life, continue this journey without 7 hrs dedicated to working out a day, or a trainer lovingly yelling at you to GO FASTER, and YOU CAN, YOURE WORTH IT. I just wanted to tell all of you, that well.... I'm not coming HOME! Not for a while anyway. I have an opportunity to stay here in Utah, and when I can disclose more info on the matter, I will. Just know that God is soooo good. This is an answer to my prayers, and my families as well. Here's the thing, Im  not ready to enter back into real life yet, I still have so much to figure out, and learn, and with Gods help, and the people ive met here, I know the only option I have is to succeed. Its the constant change of life, if you would have asked me 7 weeks ago, if I thought I was going to live in Utah, I prolly would have laughed at you and made a weird face, but after being here a week, I knew, I just knew, this place, these people had to be a part of me.  Though this change and transition is a bittersweet one, I know Im doing the right thing. I am going to get a part time job, and continue to mainly focus on my health and me right now. Which is a blessing beyond measure. PRAISE GOD! I can tell everyone more details next week, as I finish up my race here, all in all, Ive had the time of my life, even with blisters, and ripped up feet, sun burn, soreness, tears, sweat, hardships, break through, homesickeness, and being exhausted beyond belief,  I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. It's not just about what I've lost around my waist line, but what i've gained spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, I've been changed for good.
   A quote that is said around here, and I am paraphrasing, goes something like this "Feed your faith, because then your fear has no way of finding you." Have faith in yourself. Be honored and humbled by the fact that every morning you get up and are able to move, and walk, and see. Not everyone can, so try to have the attitude of I get to exercise, not I have to. Nicole, a trainer who works here, says if she has an hr in her day to exercise,thats her time, for that hour shes not a mom, a teacher, a counselor, thats her time, to be alone with her thoughts, to push her body and enjoy the fact that she is still able. That encouraged me, and shed light on things, I hope it does the same for all of you. Be blessed. Ill see you all soon. Like Christmas. I love you guys.

Im Changed for the Better!

Hello All, Happy Sunday to you all! I love Sunday's, its my only day off, I get to sleep in, and lounge, and prep for yet another week, of busy, hard core, life altering working out, and classes.  I just finished my 6th week here, I cant believe how fast its gone. Only 2 weeks left of being here at the camp and I just don't know how to feel about it? Its sad to leave behind this family Ive created, this new life, and scary thinking about entering back into the real world. I just don't know if I'm ready? I am going to try with all my might not to have FEAR because Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real, and I've lived in fear long enough, I lived in bondage long enough, I'm ready to to be free! Although, its a slow process Im better than before. I feel more alive, and happy than I have in a long time.
   Every Friday at 1:15 all the stay over guests gather in the aerobics room with the trainers and we just kind refresh and connect, and we go around the room and share a victory that we've had this week. Most share of a physical battle they over came, or a hike they conquered that they didnt before, or that they ran on the treadmill. Then it came to me, I was the very last, and I was thinking and thinking and I was having a hard time coming up with something. I cant think for the life of me why? Then in a moment it came to me. I said "For me this week wasn't about what I conquered on the Hike or on the Elliptical, this week, I found beauty in who I've become, and who i'm becoming." That was a beautiful thing. I even made a trainer cry, that wasn't the plan though, she just felt so moved and so happy that I found that. I am very loved here, its amazing! I feel like this is where I belong, this is where I'll find my freedom. Thank you Jesus. Be encouraged by that, because weight loss isnt always just about the numbers, its about the feeling, about the heart behind your journey, its about becoming and transforming. Stay strong! Don't cheat yourself, and don't think you cant. I love you all. Be blessed.

p.s. I do have a bit of news, and when I am able to share it, I will. God is good.

The Hardest Day of All!

  Hello, I hope you are all doing well. As I write this today, I am just a little blue, my heart just isn't the same. Today, I had to say goodbye, the absolute worst word in the history of words. I hate goodbyes, I am no good at them. There are 4 woman who left this weekend from Fitness Ridge, my crew, my friends, my sisters, and now without them here, I feel a little emptier, a little sad. Although, we all made sure to stay in touch, to encourage, and to support one another, something about their absence that will make my remaining 3 weeks a little bit rougher. We called ourselves the 5 hearts, and we all seemed to beat a little faster, push a little stronger, laugh a little harder with one another around, I promised them to stay strong, to stay focused, and to do well, and thats what Im gonna do. So, to you Annie Sarmaroy, Ellen Zwarenstyen, Harmony Stillwell, and Rauni Malhi, I will always be grateful. Thanks for making me better, and helping me see my worth and potential. I LOVE YOU ALL!  Now lets do this.
  Ok, now that the sappy part is out of the way, I just wanted to share that this past week has been the best yet. My friend Ellen and I, re wrote the words to a a popular song by Cee Lo Green called "Forget You" on a 10 hour road trip last weekend. We wanted to do something special for the trainers, and so we made a song that included each of them and our stay here at the Ridge. Rauni, Ellen, and Annie, they were the dancers, and boy was it a fun week, trying to learn the words, and dances, in the midst of a 12 hr day. I wanted it to be good. They all thought I was a Nazi, for the practicing, haha! It paid off though, Friday night came went off without a hitch. We wore bright yellow hiking guide shirts, hats that the trainers all wear, and we went to town. How fun it was. All the trainers had their phones out recording, they were laughing and crying, and it wasnt even a sad song. They said they felt so blessed, and no one has ever done anything like that before at the ridge, so we made Ridge History, hahaha! I had a blast. A guests family member offered to pay for studio time and travel, if I ever wanted to sing professionally. I was so shocked by that, I never thought of singing as a career before, but you never know, I may have to take him up on that offer sometime. All in All it was a great week, until today, when the sadness hits of my friends gone, and new arrivals coming in. I know God is good, and He is going to bring new people into my life, that I will connect with and bond with. I'm so thankful for that.
  My dad is coming to visit me today, and I couldnt be happier. He surprised me and is going to stay a night, and meet my new little world. I am thrilled. He is the greatest dad there ever was. I love him. Its been a beautiful, hard, life changing week. I love this place, and Im going to bring it back home with me. Continue to stay strong, say one positive thing about yourself a day, or one positive thing you accomplished that day, say it out loud and be proud of it. Blessings to you all.

It's the Fight of Your Life!

Hello all, I apologize for the late update. I got really busy this last week, with you know working out 7 hrs a day and then cherishing time with my friends who are leaving, I found a few minutes in my crazy schedule to give updates to all who may want them.
    Last week was a great week! Honestly, its all a blur. I found myself excited for everyday, yes even with the 7 hrs of working out. You know whats so beautiful about those 7 hrs? I see myself growing every hour, and I am surrounded by an amazing group of people who understand my struggle, and were all cheering each other on, and laughing, we become one big family, and we leave no one behind. Every Wednesday we do this cardio class called Mountain. Its where you get on a cardio machine(Elliptical, Tread Mill, Bike) and you try to keep a steady pace, while increasing your incline every 3 minutes, and you do that 8-10 times, so by those high numbers you feel as though youre actually climbing a mountain. Wednesdays, are always rough days at the Ridge because you're tired, your muscles are fatigued, and sometimes you feel as though youve got nothing left to give. Then there is this moment, it feels unreal, im  right in the middle of climbing the mountain, its the middle of the day and week, and I look down at my treadmill and I realize that im jogging on an incline of 7, jogging. Oh the smile that came over my face, was enough to light a cave in the desert. I was so HAPPY! I could not have done that a month ago. Praise God!
     Friday came and we have graduation every friday, where we celebrate our week and our accomplishments, and we give praise to those who are leaving. Its over all a good time. Our guest services manager, her name is Danae came to join us, a beautiful woman, who is kind but a pistol, hard core, and genuine, and she told a story that hasn't left my mind since. She stood up voice shaky, demeanor soft and she just told us how we cant give up, we have to fight like hell for ourselves. We hear that here often, so it just felt like the same old thing, but as she proceeded to talk she told us how here beautiful, smart, talented, daughter with a husband and young child has brain cancer. As I watch her face soaken with tears, and heart broken the fierceness in her voice, was enough to make me want to go and find a cure for her daughter. She said that we are all special, and worth it, and we have the chance to fight for our lives, and we should because we are able, over all healthy, and her daughter is sick, and becoming more immobile and she is fighting with all she has in her to LIVE. It moved me so much. I dont have cancer, I am an able body and I want to do more, see more, love more. It was an inspiring talk. I want to FIGHT, I need to. IF you think of it pray for this young woman, she is only 25, and has a lot to live for. Danae told me the Dr.'s said theres not much they can do. Its quality of life not quantity at this point. Be inspired by this story, know that you can do anything for a minute or 2. And to take advantage of your time, and the amazing body God gave to you. When exercising and you get to the point where you would normally stop because youre tired, push past it for 1 minute thats how you get out of the plateau and then the next time push it again by another minute, challenge your body, it can handle it, I promise. Your body will do, whatever your mind tells it to, whether you say you can or you cant, either way you're right. Stay strong, and be bold. Have a great week all.