Sometimes you just have to conquer the beast!!

  Well, I certainly must confess that I am severely lacking in the blogging department. My computer, though I am grateful for it, isnt really up to par, and I don't typically have internet at my apartment, I may or may not be hijacking someones around heres internet.
  So, do you ever get stuck in a rut, on top of a plateau, or like you are swimming up stream?  I have been feeling like that lately. And it feels good to get that off of my chest, to confess, what sometimes is viewed as failure or an in completion.   But  on Thursday after a tough "day at the office," I decided to go workout, in a class at Fitness Ridge called Treading, and its an intense cardio interval workout. Its not in anyway fun, or joyous. It is however challenging, invigorating, and it changes your heart and lungs, which is always a good thing, and you always feel amazing upon conquering this difficult feat. This particular day I was "Dreading the Treading." I came up with every excuse in the book as to why I cant work out, I'm too tired, I worked all day, Ill work out twice as much tomorrow, blah, blah, blah.  I just wasn't feeling worthy, feeling good about myself. We all have those days. Sometimes when you become stagnant in something you need to set some new goals, and push a little harder. I've been struggling, ive been stagnant. Believe me this is not something I am happy to admit, but I know it can only make things better. So, in an attempt to make things better, I went and hopped on the treadmill. I got on that miserable machine, and I just wanted to cuss at it. What can I say, I was in a bit of a foul mood, it was me and that cardio beast, and I felt my legs turn into jello. Then the trainers voice comes over the speakers, and the music starts pumping, and I am in a room full of people who feel the exact same way as me. Suddenly, that cardio beast was my friend, and my legs felt strong and fierce(and that was only the warm up.) As the walking turned to running, the trainer her name is Sharon came up to me and screamed, nicely in my face "Don't stop, because you are worth it." Suddenly, my eyes filled with tears, and maybe a little bit of sweat, but those 7 words on changed my whole day. She had no idea how badly I needed to hear that. How much my spirit was lifted, and how beautiful I felt in that moment. Sometimes when your mind is telling no, thats when you should do it, because it will change your heart, and change your day. Every once in a while the only option is to conquer your beast, fight your demon, and ALWAYS remember that you are worth it. Blessings my dears, God loves you, and He doesn't make junk. Believe that.

A New Year, A Brand New Start!

Hello All, its been ages since ive posted anything, I hope this finds you all well. Being New Years Eve, and all, a time when everyone is reflective, and nostalgic, frantically writing down their new years resolutions, many of which we will not live out past January. LETS BE HONEST. Im guilty of it too. I thought i'd set a challenge. 2011 was a year of such goodness and freedom for me, that I am just hoping 2012 can live up to it. My New Years Resolution started in the summer, call me a cheater if you must, but its the first one I actually have stuck with, and its a simple one, TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF. For me it was going to Utah, going to Fitness Ridge, and gaining a whole new perspective. The hardest part about a New Years Resolution is starting it, sticking to your word. A wise amazing woman once said to me,"You dont have be great to start, but you have to start to be great." See, its all about the start. Looking for the finish line, will only get you frustrated and annoyed, just look to the end of the day, you can do it til its dark out, til your head hits the pillow. Sometimes, I will want something sweet at the end of the day. Wanting something sweet isnt bad, its over indulging in that sweet that gets me, so when that over whelming feeling comes over me, I will look on my phone for a "Fat" picture of me, and I just cant do it. Its not worth the 3 hrs of working out I did that day, and the progress im making. Not to say I dont slip up, and eat that overwhelming sweet, or greasy amazing pizza, I do, and I will again, but its what I do after that, that matters.
    My challenge to all of you, is to just start. Every single morning is a new start, Gods mercies are new every morning, the beauty is that everyday the slate is clean. So, when you start, and mess up, dont give up, just start again the next day. And realize that you arent alone, in the starting process. Whether, its losing weight, or not drinking pop, or quitting smoking, or eating after 7, or running a marathon. Just start. One Minute, One Hour, One Day at a time. I promise, you will see results, and freedom. Be encouraged the power that you hold. And remember youre worth it, and so are those you love. Have a Blessed new year, and a great START to a new you.

And So Life Begins!

Greetings and salutations to all of you, I hope youre all doing well, and enjoying fall. In Southern Utah its still summer, its been between 96 and 100 degrees all week, and it looks like next week isnt going to be any cooler. IM ready for a little bit cool in my life right about now. IM ROASTING!
  Lifes been good thus far with the new family and place of residence. Its also been a hard week, as I continue to transition, and learn. Its been tough the past couple of weeks, because Ive had so much down time, and im not use to that, so ive been trying to fill the gaps between workouts with little things, even walking a friends dog a few days this week. Oh yeah, thats what i call living the dream. As I find my groove here in St. George, life is beginning to look a bit more real, which is good. I just got a job, thank the good Lord. I applied to work at Fitness Ridge, the place that changed my life, is now gonna be apart of my life forever. Well, hopefully. God is so good.  All the staff that talked to me before coming, or saw me as I first came cant believe that this is where Im ending up. They're all really excited and supportive. I just reflect back to when I first came here, and knowing that this is where I belonged, and I started praying that God would give me a job there. I applied after 3 wks of being there, and there were no open positions, and then 3 weeks before I left the Guest Services Manager asked me how Id feel about working there. Uhhh all I said is Tell me where to sign. God, really does care about even the littlest things, his way is better than I could have ever hoped for or imagined.  Thank you Jesus! Also, I found a church around here that I like, which is no easy task in Utah, if ya know what im sayin'. Life is just getting sweeter and sweeter, everyday. Im so happy. Thats all Ive got for now, on my so life. Thanks for reading. Stay strong, Stay True, Stay Beautiful.

St. George Living, oh so nice

Hello All, hope everyone had a good week, and are enjoying there Sunday off with rest and recooperation. Its been a week since I graduated, and moved on with my healthy life style. Its been easier than I anticipated, I suppose it helps though that I live with a personal trainer. Who every morning asks,"What workout are you going to do today?" Being held accountable is a good thing for me. She makes healthy meals, and doesnt have hardly any junk food in this house, again BONUS! Basically, shes an angel and so is her family. Nicole, has 4 kids, 3 girls and one outnumbered little boy. I love the rambunctionus of it all, 3 girls is a blessing to me too, I feel like im with my 3 sisters at home, with the bickering, bathroom madness, clothes sharing, and undying loyalty. Just proof that God cares so much about the little things in life, I am so blessed.
   Not to say this week hasnt had its hardships, because it has. Although, im living with a personal trainer, it was stilll an adjustment, as I had to get use to having more time on my hands, not having every minute of my day scheduled out, every meal prepped and ready with the amount of calories each thing possess. I felt a little lonely this week, away from friends that I made, and my family. It suddenly became real to me that Im really not going home. Saying goodbye to my mom and nanny, was just as hard the second time, and I wasnt anticipating that at all. Suddenly Christmas is sounding so good to me, because ill be home then, hopefully. St. George really is an incredible place to be, as I drove to church today I was once again blown away by the majesty of creation, the beauty never gets old, in fact everyday it looks different. God is magnificent. I must admit I do however miss the changing of the leaves, the cool crisp air, sweat shirt weather, and bonfires. Its a whole different kind of fall here, but beautiful none the less. I hope some of you come and visit me, this place will blow you away. Be blessed by who God made you, remember you CAN because youre worth it.

It starts with Today!

Hello again, I hope this finds everyone well and happy. Today, was the first day of the rest of my life, as it was my first day away from the ridge, I think i did pretty well too. I went with my mom, nanny, and a trainer from the ridge, Gretchen, on a 5 mile hike at Zion National Park. IT was the most spectacular hike ive ever done. Thats saying alot because since ive been here, the hikes have been what ive dreaded most because, they challenge me so, but I LOVED this one. Plus, I got to share a bit of my new life with my mom. It was such a blessing, she rocked it too, considering that it was 2.5 miles STRAIGHT up, man was she moving. We all had a great time, and were able to place a flag at the top in honor of all those who lost in 9/11 and those who served and are serving this beautiful country we live in.
  For those of you who dont know, I am staying in Utah. My Mom and Nanny(Grandma) surprised me by driving my car down here, to come to my graduation, from Fitness Ridge. I had noooo idea they were coming, and when I saw my mom sitting outside the lecture hall in the afternoon, all I could yell was "Shut Up, Shut Up!" I was sooo happy to see them. They drove 1800 miles, halfway across the country to come see me, I am so blessed. It feels so amazing to introduce them to my new life, and the new people. Tomorrow I get to show my mom and nanny my new home, and my new adopted family. Ill be living with one of the most amazing people God could have created, she is a trainer at the ridge her name is Nicole. They story of how this came about is so cool, such a God thing. My prayers were answered by her, and she is letting me stay with her, even though she has 4 kids, a dog, and a life. I am sooooo blessed. I knew this is where I belonged. God is good, and I am learning more and more about the ways He loves me. Ive never felt more loved by Him than I have since coming here, because being here has been better than I could have hoped for or imagined. Thank you Father. Nicole, thank you so much, I am excited to be apart of your family. I hope someday I can give back to you even more. So, if any of you want a cool vacation spot come to Utah, its seriously so amazing. Cant wait to continue to share my triumphs and struggles as I continue this journey. Stay tuned y'all. I love you guys.

The Constant Change of Life

Hello, happy Sunday to everyone. I hope your day is full of relaxation, restoration, and love. I just finished my 7th week here at Fitness Ridge, where does the time go? I'm telling you, time does not exist here. It seems as though I just got here, and now my time is almost done. Many of you may be wondering what I may be feeling about to head home, enter back into real life, continue this journey without 7 hrs dedicated to working out a day, or a trainer lovingly yelling at you to GO FASTER, and YOU CAN, YOURE WORTH IT. I just wanted to tell all of you, that well.... I'm not coming HOME! Not for a while anyway. I have an opportunity to stay here in Utah, and when I can disclose more info on the matter, I will. Just know that God is soooo good. This is an answer to my prayers, and my families as well. Here's the thing, Im  not ready to enter back into real life yet, I still have so much to figure out, and learn, and with Gods help, and the people ive met here, I know the only option I have is to succeed. Its the constant change of life, if you would have asked me 7 weeks ago, if I thought I was going to live in Utah, I prolly would have laughed at you and made a weird face, but after being here a week, I knew, I just knew, this place, these people had to be a part of me.  Though this change and transition is a bittersweet one, I know Im doing the right thing. I am going to get a part time job, and continue to mainly focus on my health and me right now. Which is a blessing beyond measure. PRAISE GOD! I can tell everyone more details next week, as I finish up my race here, all in all, Ive had the time of my life, even with blisters, and ripped up feet, sun burn, soreness, tears, sweat, hardships, break through, homesickeness, and being exhausted beyond belief,  I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. It's not just about what I've lost around my waist line, but what i've gained spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, I've been changed for good.
   A quote that is said around here, and I am paraphrasing, goes something like this "Feed your faith, because then your fear has no way of finding you." Have faith in yourself. Be honored and humbled by the fact that every morning you get up and are able to move, and walk, and see. Not everyone can, so try to have the attitude of I get to exercise, not I have to. Nicole, a trainer who works here, says if she has an hr in her day to exercise,thats her time, for that hour shes not a mom, a teacher, a counselor, thats her time, to be alone with her thoughts, to push her body and enjoy the fact that she is still able. That encouraged me, and shed light on things, I hope it does the same for all of you. Be blessed. Ill see you all soon. Like Christmas. I love you guys.

Im Changed for the Better!

Hello All, Happy Sunday to you all! I love Sunday's, its my only day off, I get to sleep in, and lounge, and prep for yet another week, of busy, hard core, life altering working out, and classes.  I just finished my 6th week here, I cant believe how fast its gone. Only 2 weeks left of being here at the camp and I just don't know how to feel about it? Its sad to leave behind this family Ive created, this new life, and scary thinking about entering back into the real world. I just don't know if I'm ready? I am going to try with all my might not to have FEAR because Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real, and I've lived in fear long enough, I lived in bondage long enough, I'm ready to to be free! Although, its a slow process Im better than before. I feel more alive, and happy than I have in a long time.
   Every Friday at 1:15 all the stay over guests gather in the aerobics room with the trainers and we just kind refresh and connect, and we go around the room and share a victory that we've had this week. Most share of a physical battle they over came, or a hike they conquered that they didnt before, or that they ran on the treadmill. Then it came to me, I was the very last, and I was thinking and thinking and I was having a hard time coming up with something. I cant think for the life of me why? Then in a moment it came to me. I said "For me this week wasn't about what I conquered on the Hike or on the Elliptical, this week, I found beauty in who I've become, and who i'm becoming." That was a beautiful thing. I even made a trainer cry, that wasn't the plan though, she just felt so moved and so happy that I found that. I am very loved here, its amazing! I feel like this is where I belong, this is where I'll find my freedom. Thank you Jesus. Be encouraged by that, because weight loss isnt always just about the numbers, its about the feeling, about the heart behind your journey, its about becoming and transforming. Stay strong! Don't cheat yourself, and don't think you cant. I love you all. Be blessed.

p.s. I do have a bit of news, and when I am able to share it, I will. God is good.